Hi my dear,

The world is feeling pretty heavy right now. The aftermath of the election had a lot of us reeling (myself included!) and I found myself wondering how I'm supposed to interact with a world that feels pretty riddled with conflict, doubt and confusion? What's the balance of wanting to be happy and enjoy your life while not sticking your head in the sand and ignoring very real problems in the world that need solving? When is it okay to say "I can't handle this right now" and when is it important to overcome the discomfort and challenge ourselves to grow?

I certainly don't have the answers to these questions yet.

But as I've been reflecting on them, it's also occurred to me that my overachieving, perfectionist tendencies might be playing a role here. If you're anything like me (and I know most of you are), growing up if there was a problem, you were usually the one that jumped into fix it. Homework? Done before needing to be asked. Someone in the room is upset? Distract or comfort or intervene so they don't have to feel that way. The formula is pretty simple - if there's a task or a problem, it needs to be fixed before I can be okay.

But I've certainly done enough work now to understand that I can't wait to be happy until everybody else around me is because I'll be waiting forever. I can't wait to be happy until all the tasks are done because there are always more tasks to complete. And so by this same token, I can't wait to be happy until conflict in the world is managed, politics cooperates with how I see the world and I've achieved everything I set out to do.

So I don't think we need to choose between being happy and being committed to making positive change in the world. I think we need to be responsible for taking care of ourselves before we affect change in the world because martyrdom isn't as noble as people make it out to be. If you die (literally or metaphorically), you are no longer there to help.

When I'm thinking about these questions then of when to get involved and when to prioritize your individual needs, when to challenge yourself to manage discomfort and when to protect your peace and how to manage life when things feel heavy, the reminder I'm giving myself is...

One day at a time.

One of the biggest things holding all us overachiever, eldest daughter, perfectionist girlies back is this belief that we don't know the way, so we need to seek advice, guidance or approval from others to know we're doing the right thing. The path to peace and contentment is being able to make the decisions that feel best for us knowing that relies on our ability to make our own decisions, using our own internal barometer.

I think this is an opportunity for all of us to strengthen that barometer.

Each day is a chance to check in if you have the capacity to challenge yourself today, to contribute to a larger cause, or if you need to pour into yourself first. I think we deep down know when we're being too easy on ourselves and when we're being too hard.

So that's my commitment to myself right now - to take it one day at a time and listen to my internal barometer. I am choosing to trust that I will find the way.

Sending love and kindness your way, my dear,

Samantha